Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame Nominees 2023: My Picks!
I posted my 2022 Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame picks last year with little ado, and I’m doing it this year with even less! Remember, it's about FAME first! ROCK second! Yours, mine, and Little Steven's nerdy little concerns about quality and seminal influence LAST!
Kate Bush: Last year I wrote She's memeworthy with the hippest of kiddos, but you still gotta be pretty hip to know her name. Maybe she should die, make a great documentary or win an online poll first. Well, I’d say the Billboard Top 40 counts as an online poll, alright! She sure showed me and it's her year! No debate!
Sheryl Crow: Has to be the second most famous woman in rock the ‘90s gave us, right? After Alanis? Definitely belongs in the Hall sooner or later. (important edit: I forgot about Courtney Love. While she's more famous than the band, I hope Hole gets nominated soon. The drama!!!!)
Missy Elliott: Probably the most famous woman hip-hop gave us in the 20th century! Big jams! Iconic looks! She stole a Super Bowl Half Time from Katy Perry in less than a minute. Definitely belongs in here now!
Iron Maiden: Last year I noted they belonged in before Judas Priest, “out of respect to Eddie.” So yeah, worthy.
Joy Division/New Order: This is horseshit. They’re two different bands. CSN was inducted, not CSN/Y. Bruce Springsteen and the frikkin E Street Band were inducted separately! Horseshit! As only one band has the shirt, only one band sells the posters, only one band has The Most Famous Goth Song Of All Time, only Joy Division should get in this time. There are still plenty of millennials who have no idea Orgy was covering New Order, come on.
Cyndi Lauper: I didn’t realize she’s not already in! Her moment was brief enough that if Little Steven just included “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” in one of his rambling speeches about his 45 collection, I wouldn’t blink. But she’s the face of early MTV.
George Michael: How come it’s Joy Division/New Order but not George Michael/Wham!? Horseshit. Whatever, he’s huge. He belongs in.
Willie Nelson: He’s, like, the most recognizable country music star after Dolly. And she’s in. So yeah, sure.
Rage Against The Machine: Last year I wrote Fuck. Yes. Righteous rap-rock that forever resonantes with the kids, as the pigs only get piggier. Still very true!
Soundgarden: Yes, there was a year where “Black Hole Sun” was on MTV every half hour. But that’s not enough fame, sorry. They played the Lollapalooza mainstage two non-consecutive years and headlined neither. Nuff said.
The Spinners: Huge, huge, huge in the 70s. Obviously. But…where’s the cultural awareness now? The cultural legacy? I’m not scoffing, but I’m not convinced.
A Tribe Called Quest: Last year I wrote RIP Phife. Their music doc might be my favorite of all time. The smoothest, coolest guys to ever walk out of a gifted class. They never went Top 40, but they've established the verities of an iconhood worth acknowledging. Still true!
The White Stripes: Easily the most famous band “cool” rock & roll gave us in the ‘00s (whether more people know of them than Nickelback I'd prefer not to think about). But we have to debate how much “cool” rock & roll mattered that decade. I’d make them wait until White Blood Cells is 25, if not Elephant. Don’t rush them in for the self-titled. It's great, but I'm a nerd.
Warren Zevon: Had they nominated him around the time of his death, with Letterman still on the air, I’d get it. But I don’t get the sense he’s even more famous now. I’d just have Little Steven big-up “Werewolves Of London.”
And now…the five artists I’m putting on my fan ballot.
Kate Bush
Missy Elliott
Iron Maiden
Cyndi Lauper
Rage Against The Machine
That was genuinely tough! I could have happily voted for Crow (VH1 iconic rather than MTV iconic like Missy & Cyndi), Joy Division (New Order is a diluting element, and not all the shirts say Joy Division like Iron Maiden's do), George Michael (we have to treat Wham! as a separate thing), Willie Nelson (no rush) and A Tribe Called Quest (not over Missy)! I voted for Tribe last year! A tip of the hat to the Hall Of Fame, where even the most dubious entries this year had Top 40 airplay hits! I probably won’t watch, but I won’t be surprised if people do this time. Especially if Kate shows up to thank Netflix and do the old “Wuthering Heights” choreography for the delight of the TikTok generation! She should!