Blurbing For The Weekend: 2/16/24

Was 2007 a great year for cinema or just a great year for Prestige Dude Cinema? I watched No Country For Old Men all the way through this week, possibly for the first time since the year it came out. I was pretty bummed by it at the time, referring to the film as It’s A Coen, Coen, Coen, Coen Bros World. Another goofy looking angel of death. Another schmuck trying to do right by his twang-voiced doll of a lady. Another sheriff who just doesn’t get why this world has to be so ugly. Following the Coens' failed comedies of the early ‘00s, it felt like a tired retread rather than a breakthrough worth all the hubbub. I greatly preferred their next movie, Burn After Reading, where their cynicism about humanity was placed a yockier, less po-faced context: a clash between “deep state” bureaucracy and the insignificant dum-dums it allegedly protects. 

Divorced from the Oscar-heavy atmosphere at the time, it’s easier for me to appreciate the movie as quality Coenage, even if it remains all too familiar. I love when Steven Soderbergh knocks out a b-thriller or two in a year, and No Country is full of the charismatic performances and set pieces that shine with a similar wit and professionalism. Tommy Lee Jones’ mournful lawman and Javier Bardem’s self-serving psychopath were more affecting than I expected, no longer meriting grumbles about their auteurist adjacency to Marge Gunderson and Leonard Smalls (if the movie is a faithful adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s book, than that book is Coen as fuck).

The film also benefits from having seen two of the five seasons of Fargo, which sets a whole new level for what qualifies as “knock-off Coen Bros.” Despite decent set pieces and good actors, I’m usually as annoyed as Frances McDormand that such a relatively sloppy and scattershot construction gets to call itself Fargo despite no real connection to the film’s creators. Would Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story anthology be better if titled In Cold Blood? Or what if Feud was named All About Eve? Of course not. If anything, the shows might be compelled to earn the associations with facile callbacks to the intellectual property, as showrunner Noah Hawley’s Fargo has. With the Coens alive and productive, treating their aesthetic as formalized as Alfred Hitchcock’s is embarrassing, if not an insult. Ugh. I’ll still probably watch another season or two, eventually. And just for being a solid, authentic Coen Bros procedural, No Country For Old Men is certainly a POPCORN CLASSIC.

Another 2007 movie I was underwhelmed by initially was Zodiac, but I made my peace with its flaws years ago. Well over a decade ago, my then-wife would argue that I loved Zodiac, proof being that I once drunkenly stumbled into a pop-up DVD clearance store in Manhattan at 10pm searching for a copy. I don’t love the movie, I’d insist, noting that it’s awkwardly paced, short on audacious set pieces and nowhere near the masterpiece so many peers and critics seemed to insist. I just wanted to see it at 1am when I've got a buzz on and should be going to sleep already.

Streaming has allowed me to formalize the logic and the canon of my late-night viewing considerably, no longer dependent on cable channels and DVD purchases to reveal what does and doesn’t pass muster. And while Zodiac certainly has the charismatic actors (Mysterio! Iron Man! The Hulk!), gloomy vibe and air of suspense to forever make the list, television has since shown Zodiac up rather than affirmed its greatness. When I compare Zodiac to the Netflix series Mindhunter, also helmed by David Fincher, I appreciate how the show abandons recreating the crimes entirely, focusing solely on the FBI agents piecing together the evidence and acquiring the testimony from witnesses and serial killers. We don’t need to see bodies bursting with blood in slo-mo to “Hurdy Gurdy Man” at all. Ever. The length of Mindhunter also allows for far more character dimension than even a bloated movie, nuancing such procedural staples as the nagging, resentful wife and the unimpressed supervisor. In hindsight, Zodiac feels like Fincher yearning for the episodic, novelistic format that Mindhunter achieved. But it’s a heck of a first draft, and still a POPCORN CLASSIC.

I thought about rewatching There Will Be Blood to complete the 2007 film bro trifecta, but didn’t get around to it. Maybe next week.

If you know me socially, you may have heard me fantasize about being Rick Rubin. There's no debate that I’d make a great bald, bearded guru in a t-shirt and shorts, paid to flatter musicians with therapy speak. Unfortunately, I haven’t started two legendary record labels, or even produced the multi-platinum breakthrough of the most unexpectedly enduring band in alternative rock, so I’ll probably never get to feast on corporate largesse, telling Adele “have you heard 'Love Song' by the Cure?” before waddling off with another five or six figures for my trouble.

But a man can dream! When I learned about Billy Joel’s fantasy supergroup of John Mayer, Sting and Don Henley, I had no choice but to whip up a fantasy tracklisting for their debut cover album that night. The muse, it called to me.

Billy Joel/Don Henley/Sting/John Mayer: The Madison Square Gardeners, The Boys Are Back In Town

1. “Handle With Care” (originally by Traveling Wilburys)
   Verse Vocal: Billy Joel
   Pre-Chorus Vocal : Sting
   Chorus Vocal: Don Henley & John Mayer

2. “Wynonna’s Big Brown Beaver” (originally by Primus)
Lead Vocal: John Mayer

3. “The Battle Of Evermore” (originally by Led Zeppelin)
Lead Vocals: Don Henley & Sting

4. “Higher” (originally by Creed)
Lead Vocal: Billy Joel

5. “Rock Your Body” (originally by Justin Timberlake)
Lead Vocal: Don Henley
Guest Vocal: Stevie Nicks

6. “Sweet Emotion” (originally by Aerosmith)
Lead Vocal: Sting

7. “Spill The Wine” (originally by Eric Burdon & War)
Lead Vocal: John Mayer

8. “Under Pressure” (originally by Queen & David Bowie)
Verse 1 Lead Vocal: Billy Joel
Verse 2 Lead Vocal: Sting

9. “Father & Son” (originally by Cat Stevens)
Verse 1 Lead Vocal: Don Henley
Verse 2 Lead Vocal: John Mayer

10. “Redemption Song” (originally by Bob Marley)
Lead Vocal: Billy Joel

11. “The Boys Are Back In Town” (originally by Thin Lizzy)
Verse 1 Vocal: Don Henley
Verse 2 Lead Vocal: John Mayer
Bridge Vocal: Billy Joel
Verse 3 Lead Vocal: Sting

12. “Hallelujah” (originally by Leonard Cohen, lyrical arrangement by John Cale)
Verse 1 Vocal: Billy Joel
Verse 2 Vocal: Don Henley
Verse 3 Vocal: Sting
Verse 4 Vocal: John Mayer

13. “Rich Men North Of Richmond” (originally by Oliver Anthony) 
[iTunes Exclusive Bonus Track]
Lead Vocal: Don Henley

14. “Your Love/Overkill” (originally by The Outfield & Men At Work)
[Target Exclusive Tangerine Vinyl Bonus Track]
Lead Vocal: Sting

You're welcome. And please let Billy know he can reach me at anthonyisright at gmail dot com.